No one can hand you a surefire guide on how to keep your marriage happy and productive. And so, complications and troubles can pile up for any couple and bad times can degrade to awful times without anyone realizing it. If you are in such a situation, this might mean that divorce could help you reach a better chapter in your life. But if your heart is not in it, divorce could be anything but beneficial.
Before you decide to file for divorce, you should ask yourself these questions:
Do I really want a divorce?
Sometimes it can be hard to differentiate between wanting a divorce and just wanting a better marriage. This question is very simple but the answer can be pretty difficult to find. Don’t rush yourself when exploring your options. You may want to consider a legal separation in the meantime. Talk to your divorce attorney for more information.
Have you both made real efforts to heal your marriage?
Sometimes people fresh out of a divorce feel immediate regret that they didn’t do more to try to “save their marriage.” If you think that there is a relationship worth salvaging underneath all of your disagreements and issues, you may want to slow down and reevaluate what you have done to mend fences. Consider visiting a marriage counselor for a few months to see if there is any improvement.
How will divorce affect my kids?
You shouldn’t avoid divorce to keep your children happy – most marriage counselors and divorcees will tell you that all this accomplishes is putting more strain on everyone – but it is worth thinking about how your kids will be affected before you actually file. Which one of you will want or deserve child custody? What about child support? Planning a little ahead can protect your children from undue pressures.
Will I have anywhere to go?
Living with your spouse while going through a divorce is about as far from ideal as you can get. If you are pretty certain divorce is the solution you need, privately converse with your family and close friends about getting a place to “crash” while the divorce is finalized and you figure out your permanent living situation. If you are lucky, your spouse will have already arranged for somewhere for them to go, but you shouldn’t rely on their own initiative.
Should I prepare for litigation?
Uncontested divorces can be simple enough so that mediation solves the issues and the process is fast. Contested divorces, on the other hand, can get heated and complicated to the point that only a divorce court judge can solve the problems. Do you get along well with your spouse, despite wanting to divorce them? Or will this process likely become a legal battle? When in doubt, it is safer to prepare for court than not prepare for anything.
If you have more questions about what to consider before divorcing, or if you need any help with your divorce petition, you can contact Gillett Law today. Our San Luis Obispo divorce attorney can listen to your objectives, weigh your best interests, and represent you from start to finish, guiding you to the conclusion you want and deserve. We also have an office in Visalia, the heart of the Central Valley.